Cappadocia in Winter

I met Charlie in Paris in 2009, back when we were two Michiganders trying to prove to the world (and ourselves) that we were more than just Midwest yokels.  After several kilos of cheese, a handful of weekend excursions, and one unspeakably traumatic viewing of “The Antichrist”, we became very close friends.

Nearly six years later, we’ve accepted that we’re Midwest yokels, but our wanderlust remains insatiable.  So when Charlie decided to come to Turkey this month, I was overjoyed.  

Upon his arrival, Charlie said, “I’m pretty sure Istanbul is the biggest titty I’ve ever seen.”

"What?"

"I tried to say ‘city’ and ‘town’ at the same time, but instead I said ‘titty’.  I’m jet lagged.  Give me a break.”

I thought ten days in the beautiful titty of Istanbul might be a bit long, so we spent three days in the Cappadocia region in central Turkey.

Our super cool cave hotel in Goreme

During his time here, Charlie worked hard to learn Turkish. A fearless polyglot, he spoke his newly acquired language at every opportunity. We were leaving hotel reception after breakfast the first morning when Charlie said, “We have to go now!”

“Why?  What happened?”

“I tried to say ‘teşekkürler’ and ‘teşekkür ederim’ at the same time, but instead I said ‘Tushie licker’”

“Oh, god.  That is bad.  Let’s go, you big tushie-licker.”

The Göreme Open Air Museum

We started our first day at the Göreme Open Air Museum, which featured old cave dwellings and about a dozen small chapels.  

The word Cappadocia comes from Old Persian meaning “Land of the beautiful horses”. Like most of present day Turkey, the region saw a dozen or so civilizations over thousands of years. According to Wikipedia, the Cappadocian Fathers of the 4th century were integral to much of early Christian philosophy. So there’s that.

Inside the Dark Church

There were a few churches in the museum with stunning frescoes, and each was paired with a bundled-up security guard, who said “No photo!” every 30 seconds. Until very recently, I always scowled at people who ignored the no camera rules, but lately I’ve become one of them. The camera on my phone isn’t hurting anything apart from postcard sales.

Charlie insists this was a table.

It was fun to explore the various rooms and imagine what life must have been like back then.  Everywhere, there were notches cut into the wall for candles.  We didn’t get the audio guide, so we just guessed at what everything else was.

“What do you think that big hole was, Laurel?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe a firepit or for food storage.”

“It was definitely a toilet.  Definitely.”

“Laurel, lay down in that grave and I’ll take your picture.”

“Okay, but aren’t we just perpetuating the stereotype about Americans being disrespectful tourists?”

“Just do it.  I’ll take it really quickly.”

In the end, my massive American derriere didn’t fit in the grave.  It's probably for the best.

There were about ten small churches like this one.

I think the guards had a sixth sense. Even when I thought I was being discreet with my phone, they would spin around, lock eyes with me, and say, “NO PHOTO!”

Uçhisar Castle or "Pride Rock of Cappadocia"

We walked to the top of Uçhisar Castle, the tallest point in Cappadocia. Luckily the interior had been altered to make the climb a leisurely one. The view from the top was incredible!

On top of Uçhisar Castle

Bibimbap!!

About 90% of the tourists we ran into during our time in Cappadocia were from South Korea, so it was only fitting that there be several Korean restaurants in the tiny town of Göreme.  When we spotted the first one, I begged Charlie to let us eat there and he graciously obliged.

When our food arrived, I told him, “Afiyet olsun!”

“What does that mean?”

“It's Turkish for ‘bon appetit’”.

“Oh, okay.  Say it one more time.”

“Afiyet olsun.”

“Ashley Olsen to you as well.”

Pigeon Valley

On our second day, we went on a tour which started at Pigeon Valley. It had snowed quite a bit overnight, but it was a sunny day and a balmy 42°F (5.5°C), which is practically t-shirt weather in Michigan.

Next up was the rock-cut Selime Monastery, which was home to Hittite, Assyrian, Persian, Roman, Byzantine, Danişment, Seljuk and Ottoman civilizations. The monastery was built in the 8th and 9th centuries and was eventually used as a stopover point for caravans traveling to nearby bazaars.

It’s said that the Cappadocia region was the inspiration for the Star Wars planet of Tatooine (where Luke Skywalker was raised).  It’s easy to see how someone could compare Cappadocia to a planet in a galaxy far, far away.  It was a truly magical place.

Later, we visited Derinkuyu, an ancient multi-level underground city which early Christians used to hide from their enemies. In the 7th and 8th centuries BCE, the people were able to carve into the soft volcanic rock to build the underground city. Since then, the rocks have oxidized and hardened.  

The city reaches a depth of 60m and was large enough to shelter approximately 20,000 people, along with their livestock! Derinkuyu is connected to other underground cities by miles and miles of tunnels.

It’s believed that the Christians would tie prisoners up by their wrists and interrogate them at this spot in the cave.  This poor guy, as the tallest person in our tour group, was forced to reenact a torture scene.  He was a good sport about it though.

We were able to visit five of the eight floors of Derinkuyu.  Before we made the descent, our tour guide asked if anyone was claustrophobic and for good reason.  There were points where you had to turn sideways to fit through a passage and sometimes tunnels got as low as one meter!  

Our guide explained that this wasn’t because the early Christians were short, but rather to throw off their pursuers.  They even had massive wheels that they would roll to seal off certain passages.  It was pretty much real life “Legends of the Hidden Temple”.

We spent the last day of our trip walking around the Rose Valley laughing and talking about everything.  We only ran into a handful of people the entire time, which was really nice.  There wasn’t anything or anyone to stop us from exploring the long since abandoned cave homes.  

It’s amazing how few rules there are at tourist attractions outside of the US.  I suppose when getting sued isn’t a huge risk, there’s less concern for guardrails and “Do not enter!” signs. Perhaps the rest of the world is more comfortable letting natural selection take place.

Hello, Charlie!

I’m a pretty huge wuss, so it was nice to have Charlie along to trailblaze.  He was constantly disappearing  into dark tunnels, deep holes, and narrow crevices before I could say, “be careful”.  Apparently Charlie doesn't watch as many horror movies as I do.

As ever, I wore the wrong shoes.  I didn’t realize until that day that my boots had zero traction.  Luckily, Charles “Muscle Man” Ragauss was there to keep me from slipping.

Traveling in Turkey, I’m constantly in awe of humans, nature, and how the two come together.  As the saying goes, “When life gives you soft volcanic rock formations, make cave dwellings”.

My new pose, which is actually a throwback to my 2011 Korea pose.

Charlie and I absolutely loved Cappadocia. It was so wonderful to be reunited with my dear friend and to travel together again. Whether we’re seeing a big titty or a little titty, we always have a good time.

Black Sea Region Adventures

Since I first came to Turkey two-and-a-half years ago, Trabzon has been at the top of my bucket list.  Whenever I told my Turkish friends this, they’d raise their eyebrows and say, “Trabzon?  Really?”  I always wanted to go to see the Sumela Monastery, simply because I thought it looked really cool.  So a few weeks ago, I took a 90-minute flight to Trabzon for a three-day weekend.  It was AWESOME.

According to the omniscient Wikipedia, Trabzon is located on the historical Silk Road in the Black Sea (Karadeniz) region.  It was a melting pot of religions, languages, and culture for centuries and a trade gateway to Iran and the Caucasus.  It was also the birthplace of my second favorite sultan, Suleiman the Magnificent.  Today, Trabzon’s population is around 760,000.  

After I arrived, I checked into Otel Benli, which was a substantial improvement from my Ankara hotel experience in the sense that I didn’t think I would die there.  The low price of 25 TL per night was reflected in the room size and absence of a private toilet.  Yes, it was as tiny as it looks in the pictures, but it was perfect for my short solo vacation.

The staff at Otel Benli were friendly and eager to help.  The guy at the front desk spoke about as much English as I speak Turkish, so there was much hand-gestures, laughter, and broken sentences that trailed off into shoulder shrugs.  It was a lot like charades, except I couldn’t say “pass”.

I spent the first day walking around the city center of Trabzon.  In general, it definitely seemed more conservative than Istanbul, but still modern with all the regular restaurant chains and stores.  

My first stop was at the Trabzon City Museum.  With the exception of the sleepy security guards, I was the only person in the museum, which was pretty special.   The motion detectors kept a ball of light around me as I moved from case to case and room to room.  Unless I admired something for more than 30 seconds, in which case I was plunged into darkness and had to flail around until the lights came back on.

Can we all agree that the museums of the world have more than enough mundane terracotta pots?  They’re like the Andy Warhol prints of archeology.  There are a million of them and they all look the same.  

I sympathize with people five thousand years from now who will have to see all of our crappy IKEA mugs in a museum display case with a placard that reads, “Behold the FÄRGRIK: a traditional vessel used for coffee consumption”.  Ugh.

After the museum, I headed to Trabzon's Hagia Sophia, which was first built in the 13th century.  The building's only similarity to the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul is its name.   Like many Byzantine churches, it was converted into a mosque sometime in the 15th or 16th century.  It was a museum for much of the 20th century, but was very recently reconverted into a mosque.

I got a kink in my neck from staring up at the unique and colorful frescoes.

This crumbling house makes me think of an M.C. Escher picture.

One of the most notable differences in the Black Sea Region was the lack of English speakers compared to Istanbul.  Who knows though, maybe Trabzonians just like to see foreigners make colossal fools of themselves.

Anyway, I was forced to use my tiny arsenal of Turkish and it was actually a nice challenge.  In Istanbul, my abysmal Turkish is a nuisance, but in Trabzon it was a novelty.  Everyone was encouraging and complimented my “çok güzel aksan”, which was a very funny lie.  My Turkish accent is about as good as Dick Van Dyke’s Cockney accent in “Mary Poppins”.  Nevertheless, it was sweet of them to say.

Aqueduct leading to the Sumela Monastery

On the second day of my Karadeniz trip, I took a bus from Trabzon to Sumela.  When we reached the 3,900 foot summit, I realized that we were in an actual cloud. I hadn't considered that the altitude might impact visibility.

The monastery was established in 386 AD under Byzantine Emperor Theodosius I.  It fell into ruins and was restored numerous times until reaching its present form in the 13th century.   After Sultan Mehmet II did his thing in Trabzon in 1461, he and subsequent sultans granted Sumela protection and the rights to continue to function as a monastery.  It remained a popular destination for travelers and monks through the centuries.

IT'S HAPPENING!!!

Sumela was twice as wonderful as I imagined.  Visibility from the monastery itself was non-existent, but the mist had its own charm.   While I walked around, I wished more than ever that I could time travel.  With so few tourists and the surreal mist, it was a easy to imagine robed monks going about their daily business on the monastery grounds.  

I don't know. Maybe I need to give my time-travel romance novels a break.

The Rock Church

The site was abandoned in 1923, following the forced population exchanges between Greece and Turkey.  In recent decades, it has primarily functioned as a tourist location.

Inside the Rock Church

The frescos inside the Rock Church were painted throughout the centuries and mostly depict events from the lives of Jesus and the Virgin Mary.

Absolutely gorgeous, but the bodiless angels really creep me out.

I like visiting religious sites for their beauty and historical significance.  Also, because a diverse group of people made them, in many cases, for other people.  Sure, one can argue that they’re built exclusively for a deity, but if that’s the case, why are there chairs?

Windows in the watchtower  

I stuck my arm out of one of the watchtower windows and my fingertips started to fade the tiniest bit into the mist.  Whoever was on watch duty for the winter months, probably got really good at chess, reciting bible passages, or whatever monks do for fun.

I was in complete awe of the nature surrounding the monastery, which I wasn’t expecting at all.  The shades of green were a brilliant contrast to the dark stones and bright fog.

I walked around with a stupid grin plastered on my face like I was Pocahontas, as “Colors of the Wind” played on repeat in my head. I could’ve spent a month up there and been content.  Every time I turned a corner I was greeted by something entirely different, yet equally amazing.   

          

It was as though the mountains and the manmade structures were fused together to form a single organism.   Like a pair of anglerfish, except beautiful and not completely horrifying.

Do you hear the angelic chorus?

This beauty is kuymak, a traditional Black Sea Region dish made of cornmeal, cheese, and butter.  I don't have the words to do it justice, so I'll just leave you to your drooling.  Yes, I ate the whole thing. It was a cultural experience, okay?

This dog was kind enough to escort me around the area.

 After Sumela Monastery, Uzungöl (Long Lake) is the must see attraction in the Black Sea Region. I decided to go there on the last day of my trip. Getting to Uzungöl was a bit tricky because I was limited on time and would have to pick up my luggage at the hotel before going to the airport.  I tried explaining this in Turkish to my buddy at the front desk. It was pretty rough.

“Uzungöl I want I am going.  [Points at massive poster of Uzungöl behind the desk]
Later airport me go. 
Eighteen-and-a-half hour me [makes noises and hand motions of an ascending plane]. 
Now my bag [gestures wildly to backpack] here.  
Later, here I come and my bag [presents backpack like its knives on an infomercial] and me go. 
Okay?”

“Okey.  Problem yok!”

I was off!

The two hour journey to Uzungöl was almost as nice as the lake itself.   The scenery along the winding roads was like a dream.   The little bus passed tea fields, waterfalls,  stunning houses, and other incredible details unique to the region.  I gave up on taking pictures.  They wouldn’t have turned out well anyway and I was experiencing sensory overload.

Uzungöl!

After I arrived, the bus driver told me that he'd be back in two hours and I was on my own. The only sign of Uzungöl’s inhabitants were the schoolchildren kicking a ball around the playground at recess time.  I wondered what it would be like to grow up in this isolated town, always surrounded by mountains, sky, and people from somewhere else.

I’m so happy I visited when I did.  Yes, it was chilly and the majority of the stores were boarded up, but I came for the nature anyway. It wasn't Sumela magical, but it was pretty damn close.

Apart from a couple of creepy construction workers, there wasn't a soul in sight to take my picture, so I had to resort to taking a selfie. 

My short vacation to the Black Sea Region was better than I ever could have imagined. Go there. Now. Tell Mehmet at Otel Benli that Laurel says, "Merhaba".